🍽️Surviving Toxic Leadership in the Hospitality Industry
A powerful depiction of emotional stress in a hostile work environment.
🔥 Setting the Scene: A Hospitality Shift Turned Sour
It started like any other day. Uniform on. Smile loaded. Game face ready. But by the end of the shift, I was staring at my phone, heart pounding, reading a message that felt more like a threat than a note from management.
A few lines of pure venom — passive aggression, veiled accusations, and one too many smiley faces used like weapons. It wasn’t just a bad night. It was a breaking point. And it wasn’t the first time.
If you’ve ever worked in hospitality — hotel, restaurant, spa, wherever — you probably know that moment. The one where it’s not the guests, or the hours, or even the stress that gets to you. It’s them.
The ones in charge. The ones who should’ve had your back, but instead made you feel small.
đź’Ł The Reality: When Leadership Turns Toxic
We’re taught to suck it up. To stay professional. To call it “tough love.” But here’s the truth:
👉 Shaming staff in public or private is not discipline — it’s humiliation.
👉 Threatening people’s futures in a small industry is not leadership — it’s manipulation.
👉 Mocking mental health is not a joke — it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Toxic leadership in hospitality often hides behind tradition. “That’s just how it is.” “This industry isn’t for everyone.” “We only keep the strong.”
What they mean is: We’ve normalized abuse.
But normal doesn’t mean healthy. And tradition doesn’t mean right.
🧠The Toll: Burnout, Breakdown & the Weight of Silence
Let’s talk symptoms:
- The dread of walking into work.
- The 3AM anxiety spiral before an early shift.
- The tears you wipe away in the locker room.
- The numbness after reading one more rage-filled message from someone paid to manage, not destroy.
This isn’t drama — it’s data. Studies show that over 60% of hospitality workers report bullying or psychological abuse at work. Over half have suffered stress-induced physical symptoms. Burnout is so common, we joke about it.
But deep down, we’re not laughing.
🚫 Not Just Kitchens: It’s the Whole House
Toxic leadership isn’t confined to kitchens. It runs through the entire hospitality structure:
- The front office supervisor who micromanages through fear.
- The F&B manager who rules with threats instead of trust.
- The department head who gossips about staff behind closed doors.
- The GM who confuses control with culture.
And worst of all? The silence from those who should know better — but look the other way.
🪞 The Moment I Knew: “I Deserve Better Than This”
There was no dramatic meltdown. No screaming match. Just a quiet, sharp realization: This job was damaging me more than it was growing me.
So I walked. With nothing but my knives, my backbone, and my dignity.
🛠️ Recovery Isn’t Instant. But It’s Possible.
You don’t bounce back from a toxic workplace overnight. You question everything — your talent, your future, your self-worth.
But little by little, it returns:
- The joy of service, when it’s not soaked in fear.
- The pride in your work, when someone simply says “thank you.”
- The feeling of being part of a team, not a target.
I found that again. And you can too.
🌱 What Healthy Hospitality Leadership Looks Like
We’ve talked about what’s broken. Let’s talk about what works:
âś… Leaders who listen, not just speak.
✅ Expectations that are clear — and human.
✅ Praise that’s given publicly, and corrections handled privately.
âś… Psychological safety: where people feel safe to speak up, fail, grow.
Good leadership doesn’t need exclamation marks or smiley-faced threats.
It needs empathy, presence, and a backbone strong enough to lift others — not crush them.
🧠Final Thoughts: If You’re in It, You’re Not Alone
This article isn’t about revenge. It’s about recognition.
If something deep inside you knows the way you’re being treated isn’t right — you’re not overreacting. You’re waking up.
Toxic leadership in hospitality is real. But so is the path out of it.
You don’t have to accept fear as a management style. And you don’t have to keep quiet to survive.
There are better places. There are better people. And if no one else says it, let me:
👉 You deserve respect. You deserve safety. You deserve better.
🔗 Share this if you’ve ever been pushed too far by someone paid to lead you. Let’s rewrite the hospitality culture, one honest story at a time.
