🧠 Cliques in hospitality: The Unspoken Hierarchies That Divide Us
“We’re like family here.”
If you’ve worked in hospitality for more than five minutes, you’ve probably heard that line. It sounds warm, inviting, even comforting — like you’ve found a home. But behind the scenes? Sometimes that “family” operates more like high school.
Welcome to the world of cliques in hospitality.
🍽️ What Is a Clique in hospitality industry?
A clique is a small, exclusive group that sticks together and often shuts others out. In a kitchen, it could be the old-timers who all came from the same restaurant. Or the guys who speak the same language and always work the same shift. It could be the sous chefs who go out for drinks and mysteriously get the best days off.
Cliques form fast in hospitality because the work is intense. You crave allies. You trust the person who knows your tempo, who’s covered your ass on the line. It’s survival instinct. But that same instinct can create invisible walls.
⚡ The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
👌 The Good:
- Quick communication
- Tight trust
- Shared experience
⚠️ The Bad:
- Exclusion of others
- Inside jokes that isolate
- Favoritism in scheduling or stations
💣 The Ugly:
- Newcomers left to sink
- Whispers and gossip
- Passive-aggressive sabotage
Not all cliques are toxic, but many teeter on the edge.
👣 Real-Life Signs You’re Outside the Clique
- You’re the last to hear about a menu change
- Your shift swap request gets ignored, but theirs goes through
- You’re eating alone while they huddle in the back for “crew talk”
It’s not always obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle. But you feel it in your gut. And in hospitality? That gut feeling can eat away at your drive.
🧠 The Psychological Toll
Being excluded in a high-pressure environment hits different. You’re already grinding long hours, getting barked at by the pass, and barely making rent. Feeling like an outsider on top of that? It chips away at your confidence.
Especially for young chefs or FOH staff trying to find their place, cliques can be the silent killer of motivation.
✨ How to Break the Cycle
If you’re in the clique:
- Open the circle. Invite someone new in.
- Rotate who does what. Share the learning.
- Remember how it felt to be the newbie.
If you’re on the outside:
- Don’t chase their approval. Focus on your craft.
- Find your people — they might not be in your section.
- Lead by example. Inclusion starts with you.
💬 Confession Corner
“I once left a job not because the kitchen was hard, but because it felt like high school. Every service felt like lunchroom politics. I was done trying to earn a seat at their table.”
🌶️ Final Thoughts: We Don’t Need Cliques. We Need Culture.
The strongest kitchens aren’t built on exclusivity — they’re built on community. On mentorship. On giving a damn about the person next to you, whether they’ve been there five days or five years.
Because real teams don’t isolate. They elevate.
Have you experienced cliques in your kitchen? Share your story in the comments or drop it anonymously in the Chefs Confessions inbox.
